I don't remember how I came across his blog, but I remember after reading the post and laughing out loud, I proceeded to spend a very productive day at work, reading all of his posts from the last several years. Needless to say, I didn't accomplish much actual work, but I did laugh like a loon and might have choked on my Diet Coke once or twice (and also enhanced my reputation around the office for being slightly insane)
I then did what any good blogger would do and stalked him online. I believe our first conversation had something to do with battery operated "toys" that deliver electrical shocks........Now he has published his very first book
Do you medicate to create the crazy shit that comes out of your brain or is it all naturally derived?YES.
Oh, sorry. I didn't realize that was actually multiple choice.
I can tell you that, sadly, most of it just comes naturally. But I HAVE noticed that when you add Vicodin, things get way crazier. Also, squirrels tend to steal your Pop Tarts.
Is being short proportionate to being funny?Oh, God, I hope not.
I actually don't think so because if that was the case, more professional basketball players would do stand-up comedy.
Boxers or briefs? Or commando?Boxer-briefs. NEVER EVER NEVER EVER commando. Never. I can't stress that enough. I like being kind of, like, held in place not all wishy washy flippity floppity and then get home trying to explain to my girlfriend that the sores on my penis are actually denim burns.
Been there. Done that once. I'm good. Boxer briefs.
Does anyone actually buy your tshirts and mugs?Yes, but sadly not as many as I'd like. In fact, if you wouldn't mind hawking a few on here and giving the link, that would be awesome. One can never have too many 'I heart my penis' shirts or 'GO AWAY' coffee mugs, you know?
Thanks in advance.
(here's the link in case you need a 'I heart my penis' shirt for a Christmas gift: http://www.zazzle.com/gifts?ch=mentalpoo )
Are you a hugger? Animals? Women? Small Children and trees are assumed to be included.Like, random hugger? Or, like, hugger after some sort of sports championship win? I think you need to be more precise here in your questioning.
I don't hug guys unless it's a friend I haven't seen in forever and I happen to be visiting him on his deathbed. Women I will TOTALLY hug right up until the point that they ask "WHO ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?" and then I usually just, you know, flee the scene.
I hug my kids ALL the time. My daughter, who is 12, is quickly growing out of that phase. Luckily, I'm not above embarrassing the crap out of her so I hug her and pick her up and swing her around. Typically this happens when I'm dropping her off at school dances in front of all her friends. Good times. Good times.
Oh yeah, you have a book coming out. Wanna tell us about that?
My book is called 'Things Go Wrong for Me' and is a collection of TRUE stories about my childhood, parenting adventures, my post-divorce dating adventures and - yes - my vasectomy. Because what good book is complete without sterilization stories? NONE.
I've gotten some excellent reviews thus far including Jenny Lawson who you may know as "The Bloggess" and - drumroll - Jenny McCarthy who you may know as the actress, model, author, ex-wife of Jim Carrey, hottie, omg so hot, crazy hot woman. I also have some other excellent reviews from people NOT named "Jenny" as well. But, so far, it is being well received as 'hysterical' and 'hilarious' and 'wonderful' and I couldn't be happier about it. It's totally a dream come true.
Actually, the dream is to be a millionaire from all this as well, so please buy my book and enjoy it. Don't let the terrorists win, people.
Thanks for taking the time to answer all of my well thought out, intelligent questions Rod! Now, people-- if you've made it this far in the post, it's obvious you enjoy a little bit of crazy (or your doing penance) so go pick up a copy of "Things Go Wrong For Me"
Amazon Kindle Version (currently $2.99)
Barnes & Noble