If you know me IRL (in real life for the newbies) or have read my blog enough that you realize I do post shit that isn't a product review now and again, you may have realized I have idiot moments.
So I was in the shower tonight composing blog posts in my head--yes I do that, and 99% of the time they never get posted, because I forget--and I realized it was Tuesday and I probably missed last week on the TTUT with IA and Shawn.
So while wondering what sort of literary masterpiece I could astound you all with, I started thinking about all the idiotic stuff I have done recently and decided to go with that instead.
Feel free to pity me:
One day last week I got up like normal, stumbled to the kitchen to let Roxi (my girl dog) out to do her biz. While standing there blearily waiting for her, I reached over, grabbed my can of diet coke and took a big swig. Except it wasn't my can of diet coke. I was a warm bud light that I had thought I wanted the night before but changed my mind and left half of it sitting on the counter. Warm flat beer at 6 freakin a.m. Of course I sprayed it all over myself and the counter then had to clean that up.
Another day I was all ready to go, grabbed my purse, lunch and keys and headed out the door. Locked the house door behind me (it pulls shut locked) then turned to lock the door to the porch which requires a key. Too bad I had a pair of scissors in my hand instead of my keys. *sigh*
After washing my hair I grabbed my tube of curl cream and slathered it through my wet locks. Too bad it was a tube of bath & body works. What? The tubes are the same size!! On the upside, my hair smelled purty!
Had the plague (ok flu) and grabbed a vicodin (for the neck problem) and put it on my end table so I could take it later. Whilst talking to Boobies (okay I was whining) I looked down at the end table. Vicodin was gone. SHIT. I had taken it while talking to her. Which wouldn't have been so bad except that was my night dose and I had JUST taken my day dose. I'm pretty sure I was fairly amusing for several hours.
My mom texted me today and told me dad said she has to stop hanging around me, I'm a bad influence on her & she's picking up my filthy language. (Seems she had called the dog a butt munching asshat) I'm pretty sure this one goes in my win column, since that's probably the LEAST offensive thing to come out of my mouth.
The piece de resistance? While mentally composing this master post in the shower today I obviously overtaxed my brain. How? Well I got out, toweled off and realized I had forgot to wash my hair.
It's amazing I hold a job, no?
Also, go visit Stacy Uncorked to hook up with her Random Tuesday