That is a question I have been pondering alot lately. It's been a really rough couple of months for me. (for the record, I'm not whining about it--just stating some facts). My mother has been in the hospital 5 times since March 1st. At least two of those times was so bad that she doesn't remember me taking her in or the first day or so she was there. It's been many different factors, such as cellutlitis, kidney failure, possible stroke and all these things stem from her Lupus and her blood disorder. At 56 she has been through more than many people in there 90's.
I know not every feels the same way, but my mother is truly one of my best friends. I was a rotten teenager but when I grew up I realized what she meant to me and how much her (and my father) sacrificed to give us the life we had. We were never rich but they gave us what they could, we were always clean, fed and loved. Now I feel like it's my turn to give some of that back. My sister has her excuses and doesn't really help....ever. So when mom's sick I take care of her while dad is at work, if she is in the hospital I visit everyday after work because I know she gets depressed and scared when she is there alone.
All this adds up to really long days for me. Last year at this time I had a full time co-worker who knew what she was doing, since then she was fired (for good reasons). So now I do all of the work, plus the fact that we are opening a 4th store and all of their paperwork comes through me. It's fine, I can handle it 99% of the time, but summer is crazy for us (a roofing, siding, heating & cooling wholesaler). My hours change to 7am to 5pm and the phones ring incessantly. Last week I hired a 20 year old girl to help out. She's sweet and does what I tell her, but the chick has nothing but space between her ears.
Overall that means I leave the house at the crack of dawn and many nights don't get home until 7 at the earliest. Sometimes if mom is having a bad night it's later, or on the occasions that I am in the ER with her I might get home at 4 am. I still have my grocery shopping, errands, bill paying, laundry and everything else to do.
I haven't had time to pitch companies about reviews & giveaways. I've mostly been taking whatever pitches I get from PR people and running those. I haven't had time to write any personal posts or non-review type posts. I'm tired and I'm cranky. For awhile now I have been thinking of closing up shop. I love doing it, but I've been behind or I end up with a sponsor that wants their stuff done NOW, and sometimes that just isn't possible for me.
I forgot how much I enjoy blogging and doing reviews and giveaways. I forgot why I started doing this and just got tired. Then I remembered. I remembered some of the awesome friends I've made doing this. Friends like Melbie who I actually met on a TTC board 4 years ago, who understands when I say I'm sorry I haven't been in touch, mom's sick. Friends like
Babes Rockin Mami, who I text and say Hey--I need a recipe real quick and she sends it. Friends like
Boobies who is willing to randomly send me crazy text pictures just to make me laugh when she knows I'm having a rough day. I was still considering closing up shop, I have a couple reviews left, figured I would post them and call it a day.
Then yesterday I came home after a rotten 13 hour day and saw a package from a sponsor I worked with before. As a matter of a fact I had just recently emailed her and apologized that I was taking so long and would have her stuff up soon. She's great. One of those sponsors that sends you feed back about your work that lets you know she actually read it...not the normal "Great Review, let me know when you have a winner" you get from so many sponsors.
I was confused because I knew I wasn't expecting anything from her. I opened it up and found a note that said:
Hello again Carrie,
After reading about everything going on in your world these days, and just imagining the amount of stress you must be under...well, I thought this little guy might help, even if all he does is bring a little smile to your face for a minute or two. I hope your mom is doing better. Hang in there,
and this little guy:
and I cried. I'm not a crier. The last time I even cried at a movie was the one when the dog Marley died. But I cried. Because I have people like Mel, Boobies, Babes Mami and this wonderful sponsor in my life. I've never met any one of them in real life. People I never would have "met" if it was for this blog. I can't tell you what the crazy little dinosaur meant to me when I opened up the box, as a matter of fact if she asked me to wear her companies T-shirts to work everyday for the rest of my life, I'd do it..
So I guess I'm saying I plan on sticking around. I don't know who I haven't met yet that could become just as important to me. It might be a little slow for a bit, but I'll do my best.
Thanks everyone.